Self-Discovery: A Story Towards Understanding Purpose Pt. 1

Self-discovery is a journey that often begins quietly, almost imperceptibly, as a nagging sense that something is missing or that life’s current path no longer fits. It’s a personal and often challenging exploration that pulls us away from the comfort of the familiar and into the unknown. Sometimes sparked by a sudden change, a longing for more, or simply the realization that we’ve been living according to ways of thinking and responding that no longer work. This journey is not just about finding answers but also about embracing questions, uncertainties, and new beginnings. Let’s go a little deeper into what this can look like.

Here’s How to Live Life

Once upon a time, not in the distant past, there was a hallmark guiding tenet for anyone who would be a good citizen and contributor to society: Be good, listen to your parents, go to a good school, get good grades, get a good job paying a good income, get married and have a family, live in a good neighborhood (or suburb), work hard, save, and one day, have a good retirement to enjoy life.

Many of us followed that formula to the letter willingly putting aside innate talents that would get you labeled weird in school and “not cut out for corporate culture” in the workforce. We found solace in having hobbies and outside interests as substitutes. We dreamed of having superpowers, saving the world, or exploring far off places and worlds through movies and authors, feeling a sense of connection on a level we didn’t understand, but resonated all the same. We wanted more, but because we were adults, we inevitably would have to set aside those interests for the call of the  guiding principle that we were told would lead to success and happiness, waiting for the next time we could live in this place.

Work Harder. Work Smarter.

Over time, we begin to notice there isn’t much time to explore our interest and hobbies. We have more responsibilities. Our Monday-Friday, 9-to-5 has become Monday – Friday, 5 to 7, 8, 9, even past midnight depending on the assignment. Sometimes Saturdays and Sundays are required to get work done to prepare for the coming week. Oh, and yes, you need to be available on your vacations and be prepared to cancel them if management decides work is more important.

For some of us, we would notice this sense of envy when we heard of a neighbor taking off for yet another trip to some hard to pronounce country on the other side of the globe. 

For others, we found ourselves not really thriving in corporate culture – sure we did well at our jobs, but we weren’t scaling the corporate ladder like others around us. 

Then there is the group that couldn’t quite stay in a role – the need to hop to another company or even another industry seeking the satisfaction that the driving life tenant stated we should have. (Although actually, it never said we would be satisfied. We simply equated good to satisfied by the inherent definitions of the words.)

Through sheer will, ignoring these inner signals, we carried forth as good adults do on the path of living a good life.

We acquired more skills, accepted the 1-2% annual raise recognitions, felt good when the client sent a cursory email of praise for the effort of the team. Maybe those 12-14+ hour days and Sunday nights aren’t so bad after all.

I mean, you have stability, health insurance, a 401K. You can afford a home in an area with good schools, or great nightlife and activities, take an annual vacation or 2, and feed into your hobbies.

When you get time to enjoy any of those things, of course. Nevertheless, you carry on as the good life tenet has instructed.

Until eventually the wake up call comes.

A sudden health crisis puts you or a loved one in the hospital.

An accident.

Loss of someone very close to you.

A diagnosis that affects your ability to perform your job responsibilities. 

Unexpectedly losing your job.

Events that create an opportunity, the space for you to stop and look at your life and ask:

“Is this all there is?”

There Has To Be a Better Way

Here is when you start to take a critical eye to the tenet that was handed to you by parents, school teachers, relatives, community, and general culture. You start to examine the fallacies against the benefits you’ve experienced. You look at what you’ve given up and what you’ve gained. You look at your childhood, your high school years, college, your marriage, friends, family, your community, your clothes, all of it.

Through this examination one of two things will happen:

You find a way to cope, make some change in your life that will help you continue on the path of the tenet. You see that life is indeed good. You’re where you want to be and doing what you love. You just needed to set some boundaries, change companies possibly, change your diet, take some walks, learn some productivity and time management skills, maybe some mindfulness techniques. After making these adjustments, you experience the satisfaction you’re looking for. The tenet given makes much more sense. You become an advocate for work-life balance and support workplace well-being initiatives that put employees more at the center (whatever that actually means).

For others, the other result of this examination is very much the opposite. You know there is something missing in your life, but you can’t figure out what because on the one hand when you look at how you’ve followed and applied the tenet in your life you’ve done so with excellence. Yet, on the other hand, you feel so lonely, so deeply unhappy, worried, anxious, angry, trapped. 

You try to apply the techniques listed above and see some results and you feel some renewed life for a while. Until you hit the next invisible wall – another event to grab your attention, something similar to before or possibly even more serious. You examine again and either you face the truth of your situation or you try to live that good life tenet again through a new job, new marriage, new state/country, maybe all 3… until the cycle starts again and until eventually you ask the question that signals to the Universe that you are ready for the journey. 

“What is my purpose?”

This is where the self-discovery journey begins. The journey to awakening to the true You.